


In a Hospital Bed

by happilysurviving (orphan_account)



Series: Phan One Shots [3]
Category: My Chemical Romance, Phan, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), dan and phil
Genre: Cancer, M/M, cancer my chemical romance, inspired by my chemical romance, song story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-26
Updated: 2015-09-26
Packaged: 2018-04-23 12:01:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4876063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/happilysurviving
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan is in his last moments and Phil comes to visit him, not ready at all for what unfolds.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In a Hospital Bed

“He only has a few minutes left.” Doctor Garrett tells me, standing outside a hospital room housing only one patient. He reaches out and pats my shoulder that is just barely covered by my worn out orange sweatshirt. I pull it up and then reach across to him to take his plastic gloved hand.

“Thank you for everything you have done.” I choke halfway through my sentence.

“Yes, I am so sorry Mr. Lester.”

“No, it’s fine you did everything you could. We just found out too late.”

The man in the long white coat nods at me and pats my shoulder one last time before leaving me to walk into that dreaded room. I wring my hands together before finally working up the courage to open the fogged glass doors and walk in. I keep my eyes to the floor, knowing that I’ll eventually have to look up and see the one person I love more than anything dying in the bed only a few meters away from me.

“Phil?” I hear him wheeze. I slowly lift my head and meet his brown eyes that have now paled with sadness and disease. I manage a weak smile and walk over to him more quickly now, knowing that I only have a couple minutes left with my beautiful boyfriend, Dan.

“Yes, Dan?” I feel tears pool in my eyes when he smiles at me, taking my hand weakly. I squeeze the pale body part and look him straight in the eye to show him I’m listening.

“I want to do one last thing for you. You know, before I go.” His voice is a bit stronger now, it tends to come and go.

Dan was diagnosed with having dangerously strong cancer in his heart just one month ago. The tumor had apparently been growing for over a year and Dan had never thought anything of his serious heartburn. But we finally understood why it was so difficult for him to exercise when we came in for a medical exam and found out the awful news. Dan has been staying in this hospital since that day, and I have slept either with him in the bed, or in the chair next to it when he’s in surgery or chemo therapy or possibly just in too much pain for us to cuddle.

“Alright Dan what is it?” A tear falls from my eye and onto our entwined fingers. I look back into his eyes, my vision a bit blurry. Using the back of my hand, I clear my eyes. I want to see Dan clearly for the last time he’ll be alive after all.

“Well, just sit down.” I obey his request and take the seat next to him, pulling it as close as I can to him.

“Okay.” He clears his throat before taking as big a gulp of air he can. I don’t quite know what to expect, hopefully no confession about cheating or anything, as if he would do that to me.

To my surprise, he starts to hum a melody. And then he starts to sing softly.

“Turn away. If you could get me a drink of water ‘cuz my lips are chapped and faded.”

I start to actually cry, tears flowing down my face when I recognize the song, Cancer.

“Call my Aunt Marie. Help her gather all my things., and bury me and know my favorite colors.” He suddenly giggles a little bit and then mutters, “Black, black, and dark gray.” But then continues to sing while I laugh a little. He’s even funny in his last moments. I wipe my eyes again and listen to his beautiful voice.

“My sister and my brothers. Still, I will not kiss you, ‘cuz the hardest part of this is leaving you.” He then looks up at me with tear filled eyes and a trembling frown. I squeeze his hand once more and give him a small smile.

He continues, still looking me straight in the eye. “Now turn away, ‘cuz I’m awful just to see. ‘Cuz all my hair’s abandoned all my body oh my agony.”

Losing his hair was actually one of the worst things about this, but we needed to try the chemo just to see if it could save my love. But of course it didn’t. He now wears a bright red shower cap over his hair, refusing to wear a clear one as he would still be able to see his bare head where his beloved fringe used to be.

“Know that I will never marry.”

This line hits me hard, the day that I found Dan on the floor, clutching his chest was the day I was going to propose. I had just come home with the ring in my pocket and found Dan lying on our bed, screaming in agony. I then took him to the hospital and didn’t dare bring the ring up. But now I pull the small box out of the pocket of my faded sweatshirt pocket. Dan takes in a sharp breath when I open the box toward him. He starts singing the next line of his heartbreaking song while I slip the black metal band onto the ring finger of his right hand.

“Baby, I’m just soggy from the chemo and counting down the days to go.”

I look at him and see all the tubes and wires connecting him to air tanks and all kinds of machines including his heart monitor, which is beeping more abnormally by the second.

“It just ain’t living, and I just hope you know that if you say.” Dan takes a desperate gulp of air, more time coming between his heartbeats. My tears are coating my face now, knowing that in just a few moments I will lose him.

“Goodbye today.”

I will have to say goodbye today.

“I’d ask you to be true.”

He looks up at me and puts all his effort into squeezing my hand and then taking another deep breath. Well at least deep for his condition.

“’Cuz the hardest part of this is leaving you.”

His heartbeats go so slow that I’m surprised he’s still with me.

“No. Please don’t leave me.” I plead him, whispering before pressing my lips to his. When we part, my heart breaks.

“’Cuz the hardest part of this is leaving you.” He sings the last line of the song, struggling to move his mouth.

But right before the monitor flat lines, signaling the end of my beautiful Dan, he whispers something just loud enough for me to hear:

“Goodbye Phil, I’ll always love you.”

And then I hear the long beep that will haunt me for the rest of my life. I just stand there, holding his hand, in denial that he has gone.

But then a nurse comes in, brown curls bouncing against her back, and she starts pull the white sheet over Dan’s head. But then I stop her by putting my hand on top of her’s. She looks up at me and I meet her eyes before ducking my head down and kissing my love’s cold lips. After I break the kiss, I whisper to him just as he did to me.

“Goodbye Dan, I always have and always will love you. See you in heaven.”

Then I leave the room without looking back, knowing that I will break down, but refusing. For Dan.


End file.
